They (didn't) call me Stephanie

I had a colonoscopy this morning. That could be my main topic. But no, I learned something more interesting today. (The colonoscopy's findings were normal, by the way.)

Just before I was knocked out for the surgery, the doctor and I found we had the same problem: we were given first names that were not used. We were called by our middle names. Like P. John Smith, instead of Peter J. Smith. And all our lives we've heard, "What's the P for?" This required a lengthy explanation that was fun to give the first three times. And then, like a woman asked - for the twentieth time - what her due date is, it got old. But pregancy ends. This doesn't.

I told Dad about this, mentioning the middle names of my doctor and his twin. They were from a 1960's TV show, and Dad laughed at this. Then I asked him, "Who came up with the name, *******?"


"I did." he said, and went on, " I thought it was a very nice name. You see, there was this girl down the street named *******. She was a tomboy - she could play baseball as good as or better than any of the boys in the neighborhood. And when you're eight or nine, that's pretty impressive. You hold a girl like that in high regard." Her last name was Gotloeb. So, here, after all this time thinking I was named the feminine version of my grandfather's name, I wasn't. I was named after a Jewish tomboy my dad knew as a kid. What a sweet little nugget of family history that was. I'm so glad I asked!



As for the riddle of my burbling bowels, that has yet to be worked out. I've been having regular diarrhea, stomach cramping and bloating for a month now. I had such painful cramps a week after this started that I went to the doctor. I thought it was a virus. But he decided I should see a GI doctor. That Dr wanted to start the investigation with a colonoscopy. Oddly, an x-wray on the day of the awful pain showed that I was "extremely" constipated. I will insert a visual now, to show how bad it was, even though I was also having diarrhea at the time.





See that lavender-colored snaky thing, with the bumps? That's the colon, ending in the anus. See the wiggly thing on the bottom left, at the beginning of the colon? That's the appendix. Now, go up to the first bend in the colon, and about 4-5 bumps across. That's where I was backed up to. That's "extremely constipated." The GP's main concern was that I might have a partial blockage, which only allowed liquid through, thus the diarrhea. But the GI doc thought not. And I can tell you, after doing "bowel prep" last night, I most certainly am not constipated.

I will see my GI doc soon, and discuss my situation further then. Meanwhile, my internet research brings me to two possibilities : Irritable Bowel Syndrome or Celiac Disease. Here are my syptoms:

Diahhrea
Constipation
Bloating, cramping stomach pain
Unexplained weight loss over the course of nine months

It seems some foods "trigger" my stomach aches -

• pizza
• lentils
• onions

I've begun to avoid gas-producing foods, such as broccoli, cauliflower, beans, and cabbage. I'm so afraid of getting sick, I've just written them off. I cut dairy out 3 months ago, to see if I was lactose-intolerant, and my terrible gassiness stopped. So that's something.

I just wish I had some answers, though I am very relieved I don't have polyps or diverticulosis. I love nuts, and couldn't eat them if I had divert.