Friday, October 16, 2009
Precious Moments
I had such a good time with Noah last night. We made pumpkin pies and then, while they baked, we sat down to go over his memory verse, Psalm 1:5. (He's learning the whole chapter, verse by verse, for school.) I was so touched, as we cuddled together, to listen to his sweet child-voice, reading, "Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous." He had to practice the word congregation, but got it down. These are the high points of parenthood. Just when I've tired of scolding him, or making him sit through a cello practice, this kind of moment makes it all worth it.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Wuthering Heights, a lesson
Wuthering Heights is a magnetic story. I watched it recently, and it has stayed with me. (I should read the book, but I'm too hyper. My morning Bible time is my only reading time nowadays, though I have read a few good books over the past 4 years.)
How sad it was to watch as one misunderstanding after another kept a loving young couple apart. How many times do we misunderstand one another? For lack of knowledge, relationships are strained and sometimes fold altogether. Grudges last for years. I've actually watched as loving relatives entered in to intense grudges. One of my cousins didn't attend our aunt's funeral. And of course, she received no inheritnce from that aunt. All because of a battle over money. Of course, it's a long story, but basically one of choosing sides in another family feud. This blew me away. It was a quite a lesson to me.
I've had my share of conflicts - misunderstandings, really - but thankfully, there has been resolution. One resolution, however, has been to stop speaking to a certain family member at the once-a-year party we both attend. I endured years of inconsiderate and disrespecful behavior from this person, and finally told them off this past spring. So we didn't speak at the last gathering. I did try to phone the person the next morning, to invite them for breakfast, my goal being to reconcile with them, even if we had to "agree to disagree." I had to leave a message for them, and they never called back. I know the message was delivered. I don't think the person wanted to be with me, at least not yet. But I knew I had done the right thing in extending the olive branch. I've done what I can. It's now up to them to make the next move. And I'm OK with that. If I died today, I know I am ready concerning that matter.
I learned so much from Wuthering Heights. The most important thing was this: be honest, with yourself and then those around you. Sometimes what seems the safe bet is not, and will haunt you in the end. I have brought much discomfort on myself by staying silent when I should have spoken up. I should have said, "Ouch!" Because I didn't for years, I was taken for granted and mistreated. But now I have taken the "kick-me" sign off. I am not telling everyone in my life off, but a few needed it. Generally, I've found out who loves me and who doesn't, a test of sorts. It's actually a relief. Know I know the truth about others, and they know the truth about me. This is the foundation a healthy relationship is built on. And some relationships are never going to be "healthy." This is when you use the "light and polite" tactic. And remove yourself from heated arguments.
How sad it was to watch as one misunderstanding after another kept a loving young couple apart. How many times do we misunderstand one another? For lack of knowledge, relationships are strained and sometimes fold altogether. Grudges last for years. I've actually watched as loving relatives entered in to intense grudges. One of my cousins didn't attend our aunt's funeral. And of course, she received no inheritnce from that aunt. All because of a battle over money. Of course, it's a long story, but basically one of choosing sides in another family feud. This blew me away. It was a quite a lesson to me.
I've had my share of conflicts - misunderstandings, really - but thankfully, there has been resolution. One resolution, however, has been to stop speaking to a certain family member at the once-a-year party we both attend. I endured years of inconsiderate and disrespecful behavior from this person, and finally told them off this past spring. So we didn't speak at the last gathering. I did try to phone the person the next morning, to invite them for breakfast, my goal being to reconcile with them, even if we had to "agree to disagree." I had to leave a message for them, and they never called back. I know the message was delivered. I don't think the person wanted to be with me, at least not yet. But I knew I had done the right thing in extending the olive branch. I've done what I can. It's now up to them to make the next move. And I'm OK with that. If I died today, I know I am ready concerning that matter.
I learned so much from Wuthering Heights. The most important thing was this: be honest, with yourself and then those around you. Sometimes what seems the safe bet is not, and will haunt you in the end. I have brought much discomfort on myself by staying silent when I should have spoken up. I should have said, "Ouch!" Because I didn't for years, I was taken for granted and mistreated. But now I have taken the "kick-me" sign off. I am not telling everyone in my life off, but a few needed it. Generally, I've found out who loves me and who doesn't, a test of sorts. It's actually a relief. Know I know the truth about others, and they know the truth about me. This is the foundation a healthy relationship is built on. And some relationships are never going to be "healthy." This is when you use the "light and polite" tactic. And remove yourself from heated arguments.
Friday, October 9, 2009
Date night!
David and I are going on a date! He's in the shower as I type, while I have set the coffee-maker to start brewing at 8pm. It's going to be a "budget date," meaning we'll drive around, share our thoughts with each other, maybe comment on the architecture of various homes we'll pass, and end up at Block Buster. This is where we'll seek a "floor" movie in accordance with our free non-new release coupon. (Frugal-snaps!) Then we'll go home, cuddle - coffees in hands - and lose ourselves in some ficticious person's life. We might have a little snack, like the fudge David's parents recently brought him from New England. Or some of the white cake Sarah made on Wednesday.
Sarah's at work right now. I would like to pop in on her and see her in action - or at least at that central desk where all the nurses seem busy but chatty. I'd love to watch her insert an IV -
*OK - We interrupt this train of thought to comment on a certain noise which came from the couch. I never knew, until now, that dogs can make a little squeek when they pass gas. I thought they needed buns to make some noise. And who was it that caught my ears? Well, Cosmo, of course. Maisy is much too lady-like for such uncouth behavior. She prefers to belch. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming...*
Now , where was I? Oh yes - Sarah in her scrubs. I can just see her now, busily cleaning some sort of liquid off someone or something, or perhaps adjusting a drip of some sort. She'd be smiling, attentive, making the patients feel important, cared about. I know her patients' feelings and comfort mean a lot to her.
Well, the shower has ended. Time to fly!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Stops along the way to a wedding
I have found myself the personal secretary of a very excited bride - my daughter, Sarah. Following Sarah's master plan, it has been my pleasure to assist in searching for a church, a reception place, and a pastor. I also found out the details of securing the marriage license.
As for the marriage license, it must be used within three to sixty days of getting it. Praveen's flights here need to coinside with the days and hours the courthouse is open. As he's coming in about seventy days before the big day, for Sarah's friend's wedding (the first America wedding he'll see), that won't work. They'll have to wait until his next flight in - about a week before their wedding. They'll pay $50 cash for this special piece of paper. Though it seems the dresses, rings, church and reception are the biggest considerations, nothing's happening without the marriage license, so it was a relief to get that all figured out.
Finding a church has been a challenge, but one I'm especially enjoying. My mom went along on one of my look-sees. This was special for both of us, as we reminisced along the way, and bounced around ideas after seeing different ones. I find the churches through referrals from friends, or simply driving around to spot them. I then set up appointments, take pictures and gather info papers, and present them to Sarah later. I've gotten into a couple of churches by just poking around open ones, looking for secretaties. They're pretty good-natured about it. Once, a kindly pastor showed me his church's sanctuary. As Sarah works 7 - 3:30 most days, this helps her to screen out the ones she doesn't like. She was able to see a couple on Thursday, her day off. (We also put down a deposit on the reception place that day.)
Sarah prefers the more ornate churches, but is interested in one that is more simple in decor. It is an historic church, greystone outside, with a simple white spire. The inside is tasteful, with a neutral-colored sancuary. The sanctuary has many tradionital touches - wooden pews, partly painted white, and stained glass windows, presented as gridded double windows, no biblical scenes. But the stained glass is gentle, even romantic - pastels blended together - blues, purples, and pinks. The shape of the sanctuary is rectangular, also traditional, making for a nice walk down the aisle. The other churches in the running are more traditional inside: vaulted ceilings, shield-shaped stained-glass windows, depicting biblical scenes and characters. This is more Sarah's preference, so I suspect she'll choose one of these. All of the possible churches are within a 15-minute drive of the reception place, a definate benefit.
The reception place is really nice, Victorian-themed. There's even a fancy private parlor for the bridal party to pause in before going into the large reception room. The facility just put down both new carpet and a dance floor in the room we'll use. The carpet will go nicely with the plum bridemaids' gowns Sarah decided on a couple days ago. Also, we'll save money on centerpieces, as the facility provides large waterbowls as well as brass oil-lamps, as well as mirror tiles. The linens and dishes are lovely and elegant. Linens, dishes, and centerpiece items (not flowers or candles) are included in the very reasonable price. Winter is the off-season for banquet halls, so they're more inclined to give good deals.
And now let's talk of gowns! Sarah, Rebekah, and I went to David's Bridal over a month ago, thinking it would be one of many trips in search of her wedding gown. After trying on 3-4 gowns within her price range, we sorted through the racks again, looking for the perfect, but afforable dress. Rebekah pulled out a fluffy one, and soon the girls were packed into the dressing room to get Sarah into it. When she emerged, she looked like a snow princess. It fit her like a dream - it was the one! Though Sarah and I did appropriately waffle a bit, Rebekah pronouced it the ONE. And so came the fussing, trying it with attachable straps, discussion of hemming and bussling. (I have to find a seamstress this week.) Sarah bought it, and after the salesgirl, Hannah, somehow contained it in a long bag, we rushed it to Nanny's for safe-keeping. (Nanny has the most closet space, as well as a lack of small children who might play hide and seek under it, so this was the logical place.)
And now to the bridesmaids dresses. First I must name the maids (one's a matron, though she sure isn't matronly!): Rebekah is Maid of Honor, followed by my little sisters, Robin and Erin, and then Adele. All are quite delighted to have been chosen. The flower girls will be Sarah's cousins: Elizabeth (from my side) and Tia (from David's side). So on to the dresses. It took longer to choose them than it did the wedding gowns. Styles and colors were tried on, followed by much careful discussion amongst the gals. Finally a style was chosen, with a leaning towards the color purple. I went along with Sarah and Adele on the last trip to David's and again, a decision was hoped for. As Sarah was trying on various wraps and capes with her gown, Adele and I went for third time to look over the gowns on the rack. We came across a plum one in the chosen style and knew it was the one! Sarah loved it. It's in the purple realm, but richer, more wintery. The price wasn't bad either. What a relief.
Sarah chose her invitation this week. I found this very interesting. Unlike the days of visiting the printer, brides now visit craft stores for invitations they can run through their home printers. Much more affordable. The only difference is that the printing isn't embossed. Still, they're as nice as any I remember from the 1980's and before.
So it is really happening; the date fast approaches! Last night, while David and I were watching movie previews, a date flashed for the opening of one: 1-15-10. I realized that Sarah would be married by then. Wow - my little girl, about to be a wife, and not soon after, I suspect, a mother. I know that has been her longtime dreanm - I'm so happy for her!
As for the marriage license, it must be used within three to sixty days of getting it. Praveen's flights here need to coinside with the days and hours the courthouse is open. As he's coming in about seventy days before the big day, for Sarah's friend's wedding (the first America wedding he'll see), that won't work. They'll have to wait until his next flight in - about a week before their wedding. They'll pay $50 cash for this special piece of paper. Though it seems the dresses, rings, church and reception are the biggest considerations, nothing's happening without the marriage license, so it was a relief to get that all figured out.
Finding a church has been a challenge, but one I'm especially enjoying. My mom went along on one of my look-sees. This was special for both of us, as we reminisced along the way, and bounced around ideas after seeing different ones. I find the churches through referrals from friends, or simply driving around to spot them. I then set up appointments, take pictures and gather info papers, and present them to Sarah later. I've gotten into a couple of churches by just poking around open ones, looking for secretaties. They're pretty good-natured about it. Once, a kindly pastor showed me his church's sanctuary. As Sarah works 7 - 3:30 most days, this helps her to screen out the ones she doesn't like. She was able to see a couple on Thursday, her day off. (We also put down a deposit on the reception place that day.)
Sarah prefers the more ornate churches, but is interested in one that is more simple in decor. It is an historic church, greystone outside, with a simple white spire. The inside is tasteful, with a neutral-colored sancuary. The sanctuary has many tradionital touches - wooden pews, partly painted white, and stained glass windows, presented as gridded double windows, no biblical scenes. But the stained glass is gentle, even romantic - pastels blended together - blues, purples, and pinks. The shape of the sanctuary is rectangular, also traditional, making for a nice walk down the aisle. The other churches in the running are more traditional inside: vaulted ceilings, shield-shaped stained-glass windows, depicting biblical scenes and characters. This is more Sarah's preference, so I suspect she'll choose one of these. All of the possible churches are within a 15-minute drive of the reception place, a definate benefit.
The reception place is really nice, Victorian-themed. There's even a fancy private parlor for the bridal party to pause in before going into the large reception room. The facility just put down both new carpet and a dance floor in the room we'll use. The carpet will go nicely with the plum bridemaids' gowns Sarah decided on a couple days ago. Also, we'll save money on centerpieces, as the facility provides large waterbowls as well as brass oil-lamps, as well as mirror tiles. The linens and dishes are lovely and elegant. Linens, dishes, and centerpiece items (not flowers or candles) are included in the very reasonable price. Winter is the off-season for banquet halls, so they're more inclined to give good deals.
And now let's talk of gowns! Sarah, Rebekah, and I went to David's Bridal over a month ago, thinking it would be one of many trips in search of her wedding gown. After trying on 3-4 gowns within her price range, we sorted through the racks again, looking for the perfect, but afforable dress. Rebekah pulled out a fluffy one, and soon the girls were packed into the dressing room to get Sarah into it. When she emerged, she looked like a snow princess. It fit her like a dream - it was the one! Though Sarah and I did appropriately waffle a bit, Rebekah pronouced it the ONE. And so came the fussing, trying it with attachable straps, discussion of hemming and bussling. (I have to find a seamstress this week.) Sarah bought it, and after the salesgirl, Hannah, somehow contained it in a long bag, we rushed it to Nanny's for safe-keeping. (Nanny has the most closet space, as well as a lack of small children who might play hide and seek under it, so this was the logical place.)
And now to the bridesmaids dresses. First I must name the maids (one's a matron, though she sure isn't matronly!): Rebekah is Maid of Honor, followed by my little sisters, Robin and Erin, and then Adele. All are quite delighted to have been chosen. The flower girls will be Sarah's cousins: Elizabeth (from my side) and Tia (from David's side). So on to the dresses. It took longer to choose them than it did the wedding gowns. Styles and colors were tried on, followed by much careful discussion amongst the gals. Finally a style was chosen, with a leaning towards the color purple. I went along with Sarah and Adele on the last trip to David's and again, a decision was hoped for. As Sarah was trying on various wraps and capes with her gown, Adele and I went for third time to look over the gowns on the rack. We came across a plum one in the chosen style and knew it was the one! Sarah loved it. It's in the purple realm, but richer, more wintery. The price wasn't bad either. What a relief.
Sarah chose her invitation this week. I found this very interesting. Unlike the days of visiting the printer, brides now visit craft stores for invitations they can run through their home printers. Much more affordable. The only difference is that the printing isn't embossed. Still, they're as nice as any I remember from the 1980's and before.
So it is really happening; the date fast approaches! Last night, while David and I were watching movie previews, a date flashed for the opening of one: 1-15-10. I realized that Sarah would be married by then. Wow - my little girl, about to be a wife, and not soon after, I suspect, a mother. I know that has been her longtime dreanm - I'm so happy for her!
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