Saturday, October 10, 2009

Wuthering Heights, a lesson

Wuthering Heights is a magnetic story. I watched it recently, and it has stayed with me. (I should read the book, but I'm too hyper. My morning Bible time is my only reading time nowadays, though I have read a few good books over the past 4 years.)

How sad it was to watch as one misunderstanding after another kept a loving young couple apart. How many times do we misunderstand one another? For lack of knowledge, relationships are strained and sometimes fold altogether. Grudges last for years. I've actually watched as loving relatives entered in to intense grudges. One of my cousins didn't attend our aunt's funeral. And of course, she received no inheritnce from that aunt. All because of a battle over money. Of course, it's a long story, but basically one of choosing sides in another family feud. This blew me away. It was a quite a lesson to me.

I've had my share of conflicts - misunderstandings, really - but thankfully, there has been resolution. One resolution, however, has been to stop speaking to a certain family member at the once-a-year party we both attend. I endured years of inconsiderate and disrespecful behavior from this person, and finally told them off this past spring. So we didn't speak at the last gathering. I did try to phone the person the next morning, to invite them for breakfast, my goal being to reconcile with them, even if we had to "agree to disagree." I had to leave a message for them, and they never called back. I know the message was delivered. I don't think the person wanted to be with me, at least not yet. But I knew I had done the right thing in extending the olive branch. I've done what I can. It's now up to them to make the next move. And I'm OK with that. If I died today, I know I am ready concerning that matter.

I learned so much from Wuthering Heights. The most important thing was this: be honest, with yourself and then those around you. Sometimes what seems the safe bet is not, and will haunt you in the end. I have brought much discomfort on myself by staying silent when I should have spoken up. I should have said, "Ouch!" Because I didn't for years, I was taken for granted and mistreated. But now I have taken the "kick-me" sign off. I am not telling everyone in my life off, but a few needed it. Generally, I've found out who loves me and who doesn't, a test of sorts. It's actually a relief. Know I know the truth about others, and they know the truth about me. This is the foundation a healthy relationship is built on. And some relationships are never going to be "healthy." This is when you use the "light and polite" tactic. And remove yourself from heated arguments.

1 comment:

Judy said...

The book is dreadful, in my humble opinion. The other two Bronte sisters were the better writers.

In the book, I could not have been happier than when they both died.

Sad, but true.

The movie is one of those times when it is much better than the book!

But, as Levar Burton used to say, "You don't have to take my word for it!"