insomnia

I am having a days-long streak of insomnia. This is probably why I have laryngitis.
I won't speak today or tomorrow, if I can help it. Noah has caught cold again, and we are both staying home from church. I really don't feel too bad, except for a general low-grade tiredness, from lack of sleep. I would go to church, but I know I'll end up talking a little, and I need to get better. Going to that party last night finished my voice off. I couldn't avoid going. There were too many people we normally don't see a lot. David's brother and his wife, as well as many aunts, uncles, and cousins. It was enriching to be with everyone. For the most part, I enjoy David's relatives. There's always one difficult one in the bunch, but with proper technique, this one is easily avoided. Keep it light and polite and move to the next person asap.

This is all for now. Cosmo has dominated my lap, and I have some serious tv-watching to do.

Laryngitis

I have no voice. My voice box is swollen and unhappy. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't just gone to a party. It was the annual Christmas-time party at my in-laws', made up of the very fun and interesting relatives from my mother-in-law's side of the family. There's no way a chatty gal like me is going to let a little thing like a hoarse voice stop her from socializing. The sound of my voice was awful, so I talked low when I did talk. As soon as I got home, I realized how bad my voice have become. I looked up laryngitis on the net and learned that I shouldn't talk or even whisper, for a couple days! So I'm writing notes, and the kids are fascinated by this, along with my silence. Rebekah is the most attuned to my meaning if my written words aren't enough.

Christmas Eve!

It's "Christmas Eve Day!" Tonight, we head to my father and step-mother's for the annual Christmas Eve party. It has been held by my father's family for as long as I can remember.

My father became the official Christmas Eve host when the crowd began to outgrow his big sister's home, in the early 1970's. We had a large, new home, and it was great for entertaining. I remember the excitement of that day: the cooking, cleaning and extra touches of Christmas decor. A fire was started in the family room fireplace, something unusual and therefore special. (Not gas, it was the real thing.)

Before running out to do last-minute shopping, my father would announce, "If this house isn't clean by 5:00, I'm calling off Christmas Eve!" He announced this around 1pm, and there was quite a scramble. He then left to do some last minute shopping. The bulk of the cleaning fell to Wendy and Gayle, as Steve and I, four and five years younger, were not much help those first few years. After a flurry of cleaning by us kids and food prep by my mom, the finishing touch would be done: Dad spackling the hole formed by a leak in the foyer ceiling. This was right after he came back from shopping, arms full of bags of gifts for our aunts, uncles, and cousins.

Because he worked in a men's and boys' clothing store in his early twenties, Dad had an eye for what would look and fit best. (I remember a warm coat he bought for Aunt Gerry - she seemed very pleased with it.) Dad and Mom would take the gifts upstairs and in minutes, have beautifully wrapped all of them, and have placed them under the tree.

Mom would put out her wonderful punch, which we only tasted on this occasion. Cookies and other finger-foods were spread over our dining room table, and we excitedly awaited our relatives arrival. I remember being dressed up, looking about the living room, which was dim but for the tree and the electric candles on the window sill. It was magical. Sometimes I would lie down underneath the tree and look up into it. My favorite ornaments, sparkly little gingerbread houses, dangled above me. They were foam at the core, having survived my toddler years. (I had a fondness for throwing the glass balls, especially the red ones, down the slate hall and watching them smash.)

The air seemed alive with happiness when the relatives finally did arrive. Aunt Joan, "Uncle" Harry, Grandma and Grandpa, Aunt Gerry, Uncle Bill, Uncle Bob, Aunt Franny, and many of my cousins, the older ones with their boyfriends. Their arrival thrilled me. "Uncle" Harry smoked Garcia and Vega cigars, and to this day, that smell makes me feel good. He would spike Mom's punch with vodka when she wasn't looking. (Eventually, she learned to make two punches, so that one would be safe for the kids.) Mom brought out the fruitcake she'd been basting with rum for weeks, and that was savored by the adults, though I thought it was icky.

After gorging on cookies, my favorite being the Magic Cookie Bars Aunt Gerry brought, we kids would end up in our finished basement playing pool and pranking each other. My cousin, Billy, had a sharp wit, and I always looked forward to hearing him tweak others with it.

Soon it was time to open gifts, and what a joy that was! My parents would often let us open one gift from them, along with the ones from the aunts and uncles. Aunt Joan's gifts were always unique. One year she gave me a leather change purse that was pressed and shaped like a coyote. I loved it! I remember the time she sewed a life-sized rag-doll man with elastic on his feet for Gayle, that she could dance with. I believe Gayle named him "Harvey." Another Christmas she sewed a large porpoise for me that I loved for years.

As the evening wore on, Aunt Gerry and Uncle Bill took their kids home, "Uncle" Harry lit another cigar, and Steve and I were tucked in. I think the party continued for a while, but I was wiped out. My father once took a picture of me, asleep in bed after that party, with a punch-clown-smile. How happy I was drifting off, knowing that the next morning would bring more toys!

Now my kids are all excited, especially Noah. One thing he talks about through the year is spending Christmas Eve with his best friend and cousin, Michael. They will laugh and play all evening until it's time to open gifts, then they'll play with their gifts together.

The "Christmas Pastor"

Ever since hearing Dicken's Christmas Carol, and then seeing an old B&W version of it, Noah has worried about the "Christmas Pastor." I think he got this name from the Ghost of Christmas Past. Tonight, he asked me, once again, "Are you sure the Christmas Pastor won't come in my room tonight?" I assured him he wouldn't, and that there was no such person anyway - someone made him up for a story...

Now, just to illustrate the magical thinking of a 6-year-old, he responded, "I'm so afraid the Christmas Pastor is gonna come and make me wear chains and heavy things so I can't walk!" I realized at this point he had combined Jacob Marley with the Ghost of Christmas Past. Again, I reassured him there was no Christmas Pastor for real. "Do you promise?" I did. He settled down, and fell asleep as I sang Truly Scrumptious to him. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBvPvEBqhX4

They like me - they really like me!

My college placement test results were better than I expected. And this did worlds of good to my rather shaky self-esteem. I had to fight back tears as my counselor, Greg, went on and on about my results. They like me - they really like me! He said he hardly ever saw a score that high on the Reading Comprehension test. It was 113. This was on the Accuplacer test. My writing score was 101, also high. He felt I could very well klep out of English Composition 101, and said I could try that. But he also felt I should take it anyway, since I haven't been in school for 23 years, and this is my first college experience. I understand there's a lot of writing in the course, so I know I'll enjoy it, even if it's a little easier than I need. Sarah and Rebekah want me klep out, and take English Comp 102. My mom and sister, who both enjoyed the course, said to stay in it. I still have to talk to David...

This and that / update on K

Well, it happened. My beloved laptop was invaded by a rogue spyware, Antivirus 2009. It started with pop-ups windows warning me that it was time to download it, as viruses were detected in my pc. I felt funny about it right away, spotted a misspelling, and ran it down to David. He tried to reject the pop-ups, and even tried to remove the [insert pc term/s that I am not fluent in] from my laptop, but they came back the next day. I got strange loud bleeeeps, and then the dreaded "blue screen of death." We researched it, and found that others, going to the most benign sites, also got it. One girl was simply researching dog behavior for a homework assignment.

So now I am using David's desktop. He will frown upon this, especially since Ben's laptop just had a "major stroke" this morning and wouldn't even start up right. David will fear us all using his jealously-guarded "Larry." (Ben's is Curly, mine's Moe - I hate that.) He has reason to guard it. He does all our banking and bills from it. So I must abstain from unnecessary surfing (like this). I'm glad I've got a good book on hand...

In other news, I took my college placement tests last week, and I see a counselor today. I'm so excited! (I think I did OK on the tests...)

Ben is sick with what may be pneumonia, but the results aren't in. He's not wiped-out sick, but just not better from the sinusitis and pharyngitis he was diagnosed with last week, despite taking Ceftin for a week. He looks peaked, and is lacking some energy. Plus he has a cough. His doctor heard a rattle yesterday that he didn't hear last week. So he sent us off to get bloodwork (looking for micoplasma) and a chest X-ray. He'll call me today. If he deems, Ben will go on Biaxin to battle pneumonia. Otherwise, he'll finish out the Ceftin. The doctor said it could be a virus, and that it can take 10-14 days to shake.

My sister-in-law, K, is home in hospice care. She's had pneumonia for about a month now. The doctors have said she may not see New Year's, but we know that God's time-table can be very different. She was given 3-6 months at the beginning of this whole thing, 3 years ago. She made it out of the ICU a couple months ago, when she had a blood infection. Anymore, I take the doctor's words with a grain of salt. They only know what they've seen before, but miracles do happen. Ben's doctor happens to be a pediatric hematologist, and he told me that he's seen scans where tumors had been, but were no more. The parents had done nothing different - the tumors were gone. What an encouragement that was! I was so happy to share this with my brother. Please continue to pray for K and my brother. She has some pain, and is very tired, somewhat from the morphine, but her sweet smile is ever-present. She has such a gentle personality. I am so glad she is home now, enjoying her home, her dogs, and the season. Please pray for good rest, energy, strength, peace, and organization ability for my brother, as he is her main care-giver. Between his boss keeping him on the payroll, and insurance, and my father meeting their financial needs, he is able to do this. And that is a huge blessing. Her mom is also there alot, and I know that's a big help and comfort. I have offered to come one day a week, but he's not sure yet. Aids come 4-5 times a week, and a nurse comes in once a week. K is on "full code" right now, because she and my brother are looking for a miracle. That means every effort will be made to save her if she goes into major distress. Many people in hospice decide to be "DNR - do not resucitate" but K feels that is not the right thing for her. My brother supports whatever she wants to do.

Ouch!

Today was not a fun day for hubby. He had an ingrown toenail removed. I stayed with him through the numbing shots, but I scooted out for the operation. If he had wanted me to stay, I would've. But he didn't want me to see him in pain/distress, and frankly I didn't want to see a toenail taken off! He limped out afterwards into the waiting room, and joked to all the senior citizens seated, "All I'd have to do is groan, and I could clear this whole room." This evoked some chuckles. Even in pain, he's still got it.

It's funny how we all are. Sarah, like David, also hates to be seen in pain or distress. She jokes that if she could, she would give birth alone, only rejoining the family when she had herself pulled together, and had the baby all cleaned up. I, on the other hand, want someone with me in my pain. When I had a pulmonary embolism six years ago, I had trouble sleeping, what with medical personnel in and out all day. But then my mom got to town, and came in to see me. After a brief greeting/visit, I fell into a peaceful sleep to the sound of her reading the Psalms.

Phantom Fascination

Noah is watching (and hearing!) the Phantom of the Opera. He loves this movie, what he's allowed to watch of it. He plays two of the movie's songs on the piano, in different modes. He plays whichever "mode" (piano, organ, strings, choir) fits the song. For example, the Phantom of the Opera is played in organ mode, but he plays Angel of Music as strings. He's working on a new tune, Think of Me. He'll probably spend a week or so working it out, and then will practice it a lot. I love that. I'd rather see him picking out tunes than staring at the tv or playing video games. He's doing well on the cello, going at a good pace. (He has three variations of Twinkle down.) I think we may add on formal piano lessons in a couple of years. I'm delighted that he's playing the cello and piano. I think music is a real joy for him, as it is for David, the older kids, and me.

Because I had the four older kids within six years, I can't always remember who did what when they were little. It seems to me that they all enjoyed picking out tunes on the piano like Noah does. David and I did it too. Now all of my kids play instruments: Sarah, harp, Rebekah, flute and piano, Josh, piano, Ben, guitar, and Noah, cello and piano.

I found a bow and arrow and I learned to shoot. I found a little horn and I learned to toot. Now I can shoot and toot, ain't I cute? ~Danny Kaye in The Court Jester